I...

Lets say I'm just trying to be ok....I know it won't work but I'm desperate, I do have to try to forgive myself for hating you so much...why when every single thing in my life it's just fine you have to robe me the only thing that can make me feel miserable, yes, I'm talking about love, I hate to be in love, I hate feeling happines for no reason but that of seeing him, I'll lose myself I know, I'm losing my mind right now, I just want to be seen , but I cannot even try cause now he likes you and I like him, I am not that egocentric person I believe I am, not with him, I just want him to be happy, If you don't make him happy, I'll promise you...Your life will be worst than hell itself...Anyways I know you did not robe him from me...I never had him...I'm just so depress, get this...I'm not used to it...I'm afraid I'll hurt myself to relieve the pain... no I won't...I got the poin...this is love...but I do want to fall out of it...he IS amazing but he DOES want you not me...I know I feld like this once or twice, but this time it is stronger than ever, why do I of all ppl have to love him??? dunno, may be cause he need someone to talk to, may be cause I need someone to listen to...may be cause I need to forgive everyone, may be cause I need to forgive myself by forgiving you!!! I hate this drama life...I'm not in a damn movie!!! I like fantasies but I hate living one!!! I liked you once, I'm sorry, I can't help it...I'm hating you right now... And I hate that...I believe I hate so much...I had never hate till now... yes, I'm losing myself...I...